Beware The Moving Target of “Someday”
If you’re reading this, there’s a good chance you were raised, like me, with a strong work ethic. Maybe it came from your parents, maybe from a teacher, a coach, or a mentor who believed in you. From an early age, we were told that hard work was the bedrock of a good life.
And don’t get me wrong — I’m not here to bash integrity, responsibility, and discipline. These are core virtues. The problem isn’t hard work itself. The problem is when we buy into the idea that the grind — endless hours, constant pushing, sacrificing the present for some vague future — is the entire point of life.
I fell into that trap myself for many years. On the surface, I was building success: growing my practice, increasing my income, building a portfolio of investments. But I was also putting off joy. Someday, I told myself. Someday I’ll have time for my family, time for my health, time for the things that actually matter.
Then one day, I got the wake-up call.
My Wake-Up Call
More than 20 years ago, my daughter faced a severe health crisis. Everything in my life stopped. My priorities flipped in an instant. The hours I had spent grinding to build a “better future” suddenly felt irrelevant. What good was building a business, a portfolio, or a net worth if I wasn’t fully present for the people I loved most?
That period changed me. It made me realize that the grind isn’t bad in itself — but direction matters far more. Working hard toward the wrong goal is the surest way to waste the most precious years of your life.
The Moving Target of “Someday”
Here’s the pattern I see over and over:
- When I’m making X amount per year, then I’ll start enjoying life.
- When I hit $8 million net worth, then I’ll retire.
- When I sell the business, I’ll spend more time with my family.
There’s always a milestone. But when we get there? The target moves. “Just a little bit more… just five more years… then I’ll really live.”
It’s the mirage effect — chasing an oasis that always stays on the horizon.
The dangerous thing about the moving target is it trains us to delay joy. We tell ourselves the sacrifice is temporary, but without a clear direction, “temporary” can quietly turn into an entire career — even an entire life.
The dangerous thing about the moving target is it trains us to delay joy. We tell ourselves the sacrifice is temporary, but without a clear direction, “temporary” can quietly turn into an entire career — even an entire life.
Dr David Phelps
The False Promise of the Grind
The danger of making the grind your long-term lifestyle is that it convinces you happiness lives in the future — once certain numbers are hit or conditions are met.
But here’s the reality: tomorrow is never guaranteed. I don’t say that to be morbid; I say it to be honest. Life happens — illness, accidents, market crashes, unexpected losses.
If you wake up one day having lost energy, health, or people you love, you may find that all the financial milestones in the world can’t buy back those moments.
I’ve had too many conversations with successful people who told me, “I wish I’d made more time when my kids were young” or “I thought we’d have more years together.” You can’t deposit those years into a savings account and withdraw them later.
Direction Over Retirement For Dentists
This is why I believe retirement for dentists should never be the ultimate goal. Instead, think in terms of direction — evolving in your work and life toward a role you actually enjoy.
Many professionals spend their careers using only 20% of the skills they love… and enduring the other 80% just to keep the machine running. What if you could flip that ratio?
It won’t happen overnight. But with intention, you can steer toward a life where 80% of what you do energizes you and only 20% is friction. That’s where longevity comes from. That’s how you avoid burning out — not by quitting completely, but by reshaping the game you’re playing.
Here’s the key: it’s not about how much time you have before you “retire.” It’s about how much of your current time is actually well-spent.
The Risk of Waiting Too Long
When the only finish line is “retirement” for dentists, too often people cross it with:
- Less energy than they had in their prime.
- Fewer of the relationships they wanted to enjoy it with.
- Missed years of memories they could have been making along the way.
Children grow up. Parents pass away. Friendships fade. Life is happening now. If we keep pushing joy into the future, we’ll wake up to find it’s already behind us.
A friend of mine sold his business in his late 60s, driven by the dream of traveling with his wife. Six months later, she passed away unexpectedly. He had the money, but not the time together he thought they’d have. That’s a lesson you never forget.
The Real Question to Ask
Grinding isn’t the enemy. Lack of clarity is.
The right question isn’t, “How many years until I can stop working?” It’s, “What direction am I moving in — and is it toward a life I actually want to live?”
When you swap vague milestones for specific, meaningful targets, you not only work more intentionally — you live more intentionally.
Instead of “When I hit $5 million, I’ll slow down”, try “I want to be home for dinner five nights a week starting this year.”
Instead of “When the business hits $10 million, I’ll take more time off”, try “I’m taking one long weekend every quarter starting now.”
Specific goals like these put joy into the present tense, not just the future.
Redefining Success
Success isn’t just the number on your net worth statement. It’s the balance between achievement and enjoyment, between building for tomorrow and living today.
For me, success now means:
- Flexibility — The ability to work when, where, and how I choose.
- Meaningful work — Spending my time on projects I care about, with people I enjoy.
- Margin — Space in my schedule for family, friends, faith, health, and rest.
The grind can build wealth, but direction builds a life.
Don’t Live with Regrets
Too many people look back and wish they’d done it differently. They wish they hadn’t sacrificed decades in pursuit of a “someday” that never came.
You don’t have to be one of them.
Cut back on the grind. Sharpen your direction. Make sure the time you’re trading today is leading you to a life you can actually enjoy — not just a number in a retirement account.
Because the greatest regret isn’t working hard.
It’s never learning how to live along the way.
